I have heard that upwards of 40% (and by some drunken accounts 60%) of Koreans have had plastic surgery. I know this is because it is a frequent topic of conversation among nosy foreigners (a reminder to myself that when I edit this I need make an awesome pun on the word nosy in regards to plastic surgery, because people love puns). I like not knowing, because even the best plastic surgery is a major major turn off. I feel like a lot of people I talk to find it a turn off. Yet, my anecdotal evidence gets trumped by the free market, which inform me that plastic surgeons are super rich, so people must secretly like it (is there any scummy thing the free market can't vindicate?).
While too many people have plastic surgery, the good thing is that unlike in the US, it's a lot harder to tell. This is in part because apparently Koreans are great plastic surgeons, apparently celebrities come to get their plastic surgery in Korea (and not celebrities like Billy Baldwin , but celebrities like Alec Baldwin). It is also in part because Koreans place their vanity toward their facial beauty and specifically the size of their eyes and the smallness of their nose (their natural noses are already like 87 times smaller then my nose, a fact that continues to be pointed out to me every single day). Their procedures are far more difficult for me to pick out then big silicone bean bags tacked on to ones chest. Which allows me to maintain my cognitive dissonance towards it, because temporarily our lives are so much easier when we ignore things we don't like (for example, death). Further, I can't tell because the average Korean women wears a dozen layers of makeup, though I also can't tell with the guys (its probably because I am not checking out enough guys, so I guess I need to get on that).
Having lived in Korea for a month and a half, I dig Korean girls way more then I did while in the US. So, I guess the moral of this post is that beauty is all around us. We just have to learn to appreciate it and then enhance it.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
A Korean Cultural Bubble
Even in my affluent highschool I had friends whose recent ancestors had originated from the six continents where people live (and I did not exactly have many friends). All of the best comics subjects deal with race and ethnicity from Dave Chappele to Jerry Seinfeld. For that matter, all the worst comics do to, from Carlos Mencia to Jeff Dunham (that hilariously unfunny guy with the racist puppets). It is not revelatory to say that American culture is driven by race and ethnicity and our curiosity with how the different races act and mingle. Which is why it is so fascinating for me to be in a country that is basically homogeneous. I clearly stand out and as someone who is as neurotic as I am (I ones checked my zipper while I was waiting to cross an intersection because I saw two girl across the street laughing), I really really notice it. Which is not to say that I don't find the homogeneity incredibly interesting.
I make my best pseudo anthropological observations while I am teaching, because I see the same subjects (students) everyday. Further, coming from being a substitute teacher for two years I have a control group to compare the Korean children's behavior. A quick note, the Korean children I teach have to pay to join the school, however the vast majority of Koreans send their children to Hogwons (or paid after school programs). So, I have found that Korean children take on the same roles as their American counterparts. However, they are not as extreme. The bad children are not nearly as bad. The quiet children literally never ever speak, there are at least 8 (of maybe a 70 children I teach) who have gone multiple classes with out saying one word (they just nod their heads really aggressively when I demand they answer).
As I am trying to make observations about Korea culture I have to keep deleting observations because they are not different then the US. The thing that strikes me most about Korean culture is how similar peoples roles are to the US. While there are very few extremes like criminals or creative geniuses, the vast majority of the average people are just like those in the US. I recognize at this point in my post that it is perhaps a bit banal, but I am not deleting it. In part because it really struck me how similar things are to the US or the Czech Republic (the other country I lived in). I somehow accepted an Eastern society to be more different then it has been. I am also not deleting it in part because its a stupid blog and not every post is going to be gold.
I make my best pseudo anthropological observations while I am teaching, because I see the same subjects (students) everyday. Further, coming from being a substitute teacher for two years I have a control group to compare the Korean children's behavior. A quick note, the Korean children I teach have to pay to join the school, however the vast majority of Koreans send their children to Hogwons (or paid after school programs). So, I have found that Korean children take on the same roles as their American counterparts. However, they are not as extreme. The bad children are not nearly as bad. The quiet children literally never ever speak, there are at least 8 (of maybe a 70 children I teach) who have gone multiple classes with out saying one word (they just nod their heads really aggressively when I demand they answer).
As I am trying to make observations about Korea culture I have to keep deleting observations because they are not different then the US. The thing that strikes me most about Korean culture is how similar peoples roles are to the US. While there are very few extremes like criminals or creative geniuses, the vast majority of the average people are just like those in the US. I recognize at this point in my post that it is perhaps a bit banal, but I am not deleting it. In part because it really struck me how similar things are to the US or the Czech Republic (the other country I lived in). I somehow accepted an Eastern society to be more different then it has been. I am also not deleting it in part because its a stupid blog and not every post is going to be gold.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Why a western would want to live abroad?
People do not typically leave for possible greener pastures if they are content with the greenness of their own pasture (a bit of an outdated expression). The usual answer for why someone would want to live abroad is also the cliché answer of wanting something new and exciting. Though what kind of people want "new and exciting"? In broad strokes the characteristics that are most dominant are laziness, boringness, being annoying, and uniqueness. While I can certainly show off all four of those characteristics, I would like to believe I would most fall under the category of being unique (how weird is it that I chose the one good characteristic when describing myself). Popular people don't typically crave green pastures when they are content with the adulation that comes from knowing they are already appreciated. So foreign countries don't usually get a taiste of America's prime rib but are left chewing through the more interesting parts of the cow.
I base the four broad characteristics, in part, on the fact that the dozen or so people I studied abroad with have as their top two strongest characteristics, one of the four mentioned (Jon you are probably the only one my ex-classmates reading this, so the two I would characterize you with are: laziness and uniqueness). Though as this is a blog about my time in Korea, I will specifically talk about three incidents that incited me to write this post.
The first was my one day training program for teaching English. The event was like Bible Camp, where there is like one old guy who is strumming real terribly on his acoustic guitar and singing obnoxiously about Noah and all his crazy adventures; you start to really question why God likes such horrible music. So, after the seminar teachers start clapping and singing, I start looking around the room to find only one other guy who has the same look of disgust that Beevis and Butthead have when they stumble upon something super lame. Everyone is so giddy and on board about participating in these sketches, that in no way teach anything about becoming a better teacher, but are apparently "fun exercises to remind you what it is like to be a kid". Even my super upbeat Korean coworker thought it was quite weird and a big waist of the schools money. Her disapproval made me feel better about my disapproval; because you start to feel like quite the cynic when you are the only one in Bible Camp not jamming out to the Christian Rock styling's of "Jars of Clay".
I don't mean to sound too negative, because I was an incredibly annoying kid (which led a little bit to my negativity). Though social Darwinism forced me to abandon many of my annoying tenancies for fear of further alienation. I do not understand how the same forces of cruel children did not eliminate these peoples annoying tenancies or at least phase them out a little.
Anyway, the second incident was where I went out drinking by myself and befriended this guy from London and this guy from Pittsburgh. While they were nice, they were also incredibly boring. We talked for hours and I was left with a since that these two 40 year old guys had no expertise on anything. They brought up Obama but new nothing about him or his policies and they honestly didn't know who his vice president was (they chalked that up to being in Korea when he picked it. For those who are asking "who is his vp?"...its Joe Biden); they didn't know the Super Bowl was coming up or that football was still going on despite bringing up the topic of football; they talked about how talented Fergi was and how the Black Eyed Peas were an example of how Pop music can also be really great; and the American asked the British guy why British people like the Queen so much and he couldn't answer...he could not fucken answer. They were caricatures of dull people.
The final time out was trivia night this past Thursday. I luckily got seated with one of the few enjoyable groups. They were sarcastic artsy types who were in a band (people I typically enjoy). There were six other teams and four of those teams had names that in some way related to the Penis. I think "the penis in lagers" were one of them and maybe "Penis envy" was another (real thoughtful and original stuff). One of the categories was "the human body" and literally every question was met with a ""joke"" that somehow had to do with some sort of sexual organ or turning an orifice in the body in to a hole to insert a sexual organ. One of the questions was "which hair on the human body grew the fastest?", and inevitably like a dozen people yelled out, as quickly as they could, pubic hair (the right answer is...facial hair). It was the type of humor about 2/3 of fifth graders think is beneath them. Anyway, not everyone there was annoying and lame. There was also some cool lazy stoner guys and cool unique musician types.
This post perhaps has a vibe of a cynic and there is really not all that much to complain about the other foreigners here. Most of them are easy going, unique, and lazy (at least in a traditional western since). I embellish the annoying and the boring for entertainments sake, because the boring are really boring if you don't embellish how boring they are.
I base the four broad characteristics, in part, on the fact that the dozen or so people I studied abroad with have as their top two strongest characteristics, one of the four mentioned (Jon you are probably the only one my ex-classmates reading this, so the two I would characterize you with are: laziness and uniqueness). Though as this is a blog about my time in Korea, I will specifically talk about three incidents that incited me to write this post.
The first was my one day training program for teaching English. The event was like Bible Camp, where there is like one old guy who is strumming real terribly on his acoustic guitar and singing obnoxiously about Noah and all his crazy adventures; you start to really question why God likes such horrible music. So, after the seminar teachers start clapping and singing, I start looking around the room to find only one other guy who has the same look of disgust that Beevis and Butthead have when they stumble upon something super lame. Everyone is so giddy and on board about participating in these sketches, that in no way teach anything about becoming a better teacher, but are apparently "fun exercises to remind you what it is like to be a kid". Even my super upbeat Korean coworker thought it was quite weird and a big waist of the schools money. Her disapproval made me feel better about my disapproval; because you start to feel like quite the cynic when you are the only one in Bible Camp not jamming out to the Christian Rock styling's of "Jars of Clay".
I don't mean to sound too negative, because I was an incredibly annoying kid (which led a little bit to my negativity). Though social Darwinism forced me to abandon many of my annoying tenancies for fear of further alienation. I do not understand how the same forces of cruel children did not eliminate these peoples annoying tenancies or at least phase them out a little.
Anyway, the second incident was where I went out drinking by myself and befriended this guy from London and this guy from Pittsburgh. While they were nice, they were also incredibly boring. We talked for hours and I was left with a since that these two 40 year old guys had no expertise on anything. They brought up Obama but new nothing about him or his policies and they honestly didn't know who his vice president was (they chalked that up to being in Korea when he picked it. For those who are asking "who is his vp?"...its Joe Biden); they didn't know the Super Bowl was coming up or that football was still going on despite bringing up the topic of football; they talked about how talented Fergi was and how the Black Eyed Peas were an example of how Pop music can also be really great; and the American asked the British guy why British people like the Queen so much and he couldn't answer...he could not fucken answer. They were caricatures of dull people.
The final time out was trivia night this past Thursday. I luckily got seated with one of the few enjoyable groups. They were sarcastic artsy types who were in a band (people I typically enjoy). There were six other teams and four of those teams had names that in some way related to the Penis. I think "the penis in lagers" were one of them and maybe "Penis envy" was another (real thoughtful and original stuff). One of the categories was "the human body" and literally every question was met with a ""joke"" that somehow had to do with some sort of sexual organ or turning an orifice in the body in to a hole to insert a sexual organ. One of the questions was "which hair on the human body grew the fastest?", and inevitably like a dozen people yelled out, as quickly as they could, pubic hair (the right answer is...facial hair). It was the type of humor about 2/3 of fifth graders think is beneath them. Anyway, not everyone there was annoying and lame. There was also some cool lazy stoner guys and cool unique musician types.
This post perhaps has a vibe of a cynic and there is really not all that much to complain about the other foreigners here. Most of them are easy going, unique, and lazy (at least in a traditional western since). I embellish the annoying and the boring for entertainments sake, because the boring are really boring if you don't embellish how boring they are.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Meat
As I walk around the city I am struck by all the cartoon images and lighting. It as if the city was designed by an eight year old. Albeit, a horny eight year old who's a devout Evangelical Christian; because there is also a ridiculous amount of near naked women and crosses (what a confused little eight year old).
However, it is the cartoon images that I am going to focus on in this post. It is because the majority of the cartoon images are of cows, pigs, ducks, chickens, octopus, eels and fish. The animals are plastered on the top of a majority of restaurants and then bellow is poorly lit photo of the animals meat on top of broth and vegetables (if all I saw were these poorly lit photos juxtaposed to the professional looking photos of fast food restaurants, then I would never eat good food). The cartoon animals on these restaurants always have enormous smiles and seem to be ecstatic that you are about to eat them.
So I got to thinking why in a society that absolutely loves cartoons (the Simpsons and Sponge-Bob are incredibly popular) do they cartoonize these animals they are about to eat? Do they consciously or subconsciously make any connection between the food on their plate and the animals on the signs? Do they secretly have blood lust for killing the adorable cow?
I would imagine most Koreans do not make any connection between the cartoon animal and the food on their plate other then the fact that the cartoon pig signals that this place is selling pork. Further, the culture does a lot of repressing and my arm chair psychological analysis would guess that probably factors in to their love of cartoons. Finally, the Korean people have been treated terribly for decades and that perhaps caused them to crave all the treasures that they were neglected from throughout the years. These treasures include material objects and meat...pounds and pounds (or kilos and kilos) of meat.
However, it is the cartoon images that I am going to focus on in this post. It is because the majority of the cartoon images are of cows, pigs, ducks, chickens, octopus, eels and fish. The animals are plastered on the top of a majority of restaurants and then bellow is poorly lit photo of the animals meat on top of broth and vegetables (if all I saw were these poorly lit photos juxtaposed to the professional looking photos of fast food restaurants, then I would never eat good food). The cartoon animals on these restaurants always have enormous smiles and seem to be ecstatic that you are about to eat them.
So I got to thinking why in a society that absolutely loves cartoons (the Simpsons and Sponge-Bob are incredibly popular) do they cartoonize these animals they are about to eat? Do they consciously or subconsciously make any connection between the food on their plate and the animals on the signs? Do they secretly have blood lust for killing the adorable cow?
I would imagine most Koreans do not make any connection between the cartoon animal and the food on their plate other then the fact that the cartoon pig signals that this place is selling pork. Further, the culture does a lot of repressing and my arm chair psychological analysis would guess that probably factors in to their love of cartoons. Finally, the Korean people have been treated terribly for decades and that perhaps caused them to crave all the treasures that they were neglected from throughout the years. These treasures include material objects and meat...pounds and pounds (or kilos and kilos) of meat.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Minor culture difference
In my dealings with other expats (foreigners) we typically talk about the Korean idiosyncrasies that stand out to us. One that inevitably gets brought up is the fact that Koreans do not distinguish between toilet paper, tissues and napkins. I argue that there really is little difference. They are all just light weight paper that we use to help us clean ourselves. In the USA I used toilet paper to clean my nose and in emergency situations I will use tissues or sometimes napkins to wipe my bum (I really hope no one reading this thinks they would be cleaver saying TMI, because thats a pretty terrible expression. Almost as bad as saying Party foul, but I digress.) Anyway I bring this up because this seems to be one of the more innocuous culture differences but one that seems to incessantly be brought up. I fail to see why it is brought up, other then someone trying to be cute or just looking for a reason to poo-poo the culture. Thus far the only complaints I have about their culture are the same basic complaints I have with my culture and that is vanity and overindulgence. Though, I am probably more likable over here because I shut the hell up about my sanctimonious critiques.
Get Your Filthy Hands off Our Women
I came to Korea largely on the recommendation from my friend/neighbor Jeff. Jeff is low key, agreeable, thoughtful, and friendly guy. I mention these characteristics because I have gone out with him and his girl friend, Hae-mi, three times and 2/3 of the nights ended with Jeff leaving enraged. This is a result of Korean men being highly provocative towards him, for what at first, seemed to be no apparent reason. However, after further less intoxicated review and with the help of a translator it becomes fairly obvious what the reason was. As the title of this blog post has spoiled it is as a result of him dating a Korean girl. Though I would further hypothesize that it is because this Korean girl is attractive. I base this hypothesis on the fact the previous weekend I met randomly with two British guys who were with plumper and less appealing women. Their displays of affection were not met with glares so much as they were met with Koreans averting their eyes.
The first time he got enraged was when we were at a "western bar" called NPub. There two 20 something Koreans who looked quite nerdy joined our table. We then shared a 13 dollar pint of beer that Jeff purchased. They proceeded to offer me endless compliments in a transparent fashion, that made me think they were doing it for reasons other then the fact that they really did think that I had "kind eyes". After we finished we played some pool and they continued to compliment me on my below average pool playing ability. I then tried to befriend this little Korean guy who reminded me of the nerdy Japanese guy from Heroes. Hae-mi then asked if I was enjoying my date with this little Korean guy, (while I understood the implication, the observation was factually incorrect because you can't really go on a date with someone right after you meet them, so who's really the gay one). I then tried to explain it was because he was sitting at a table full of desirable women and she responded that I should just talk to the women and then I had no response. So I am talking to this quirky little Korean guy, who is totally not introducing me to the women and then out of know where Jeff says something to the effect of "this asshole is calling me a babo (a harsher form of stupid,) and he's trying to hit on you, so "fuck him". At this point, I went to pee and while peeing I questioned if those guys were honest about my eyes looking kind. When I get done they were gone and raced down the stairs outside and saw them grabbing a taxi with a lot of yelling and bad words getting bandied about. There is no fight, which is perhaps a disappointing conclusion, but I am blogging and have to maintain the integrity of the truth.
The second time a Korean guy started a fight was last night. I think it was because Jeff and Hae-mi were holding hands. I was super drunk and only remember leaving NPub and then hearing Jeff yell. This was followed by a Korean guy repeatedly yelling "I fuck you mom". Then Jeff kept loudly explaining to Hae-mi that this guy says he wanted to "fuck my mom". I tried to explain to Jeff that if you really parsed the words, he was actually saying that he wanted to fuck his own mom. Though in my drunken state I probably didn't exactly use the word parsed or really anything understandable, actually if I am being totally truthful then I think I just giggled and said nothing.
The first time he got enraged was when we were at a "western bar" called NPub. There two 20 something Koreans who looked quite nerdy joined our table. We then shared a 13 dollar pint of beer that Jeff purchased. They proceeded to offer me endless compliments in a transparent fashion, that made me think they were doing it for reasons other then the fact that they really did think that I had "kind eyes". After we finished we played some pool and they continued to compliment me on my below average pool playing ability. I then tried to befriend this little Korean guy who reminded me of the nerdy Japanese guy from Heroes. Hae-mi then asked if I was enjoying my date with this little Korean guy, (while I understood the implication, the observation was factually incorrect because you can't really go on a date with someone right after you meet them, so who's really the gay one). I then tried to explain it was because he was sitting at a table full of desirable women and she responded that I should just talk to the women and then I had no response. So I am talking to this quirky little Korean guy, who is totally not introducing me to the women and then out of know where Jeff says something to the effect of "this asshole is calling me a babo (a harsher form of stupid,) and he's trying to hit on you, so "fuck him". At this point, I went to pee and while peeing I questioned if those guys were honest about my eyes looking kind. When I get done they were gone and raced down the stairs outside and saw them grabbing a taxi with a lot of yelling and bad words getting bandied about. There is no fight, which is perhaps a disappointing conclusion, but I am blogging and have to maintain the integrity of the truth.
The second time a Korean guy started a fight was last night. I think it was because Jeff and Hae-mi were holding hands. I was super drunk and only remember leaving NPub and then hearing Jeff yell. This was followed by a Korean guy repeatedly yelling "I fuck you mom". Then Jeff kept loudly explaining to Hae-mi that this guy says he wanted to "fuck my mom". I tried to explain to Jeff that if you really parsed the words, he was actually saying that he wanted to fuck his own mom. Though in my drunken state I probably didn't exactly use the word parsed or really anything understandable, actually if I am being totally truthful then I think I just giggled and said nothing.
this blog
Immediately after pressing the submit on the blog title I started regretting not adding the extra "in" and not having it read "Musings in Incheon". First, the city I am living in is Incheon and its not that well known a city to my potential audience, to the point where I can and should be making a play on words. Second, as I typed it I thought that it was quite cleaver, but on closer inspection, I am starting to think it actually might be quite lame. Third, using the word "musings" perhaps might highlight a perception that I am pretentious.
This blog is about my observations from my time in Incheon. I am going to state from the beginning that I only intend for friends and family to read it, so when it does blow up I can act like it was a total shock that this blog just gained in audience out of know where. I think by writing the previous sentence, I just jinxed any chance of that happening.
PS: add or possibly subtract 7 hours from whenever it says I am making a post (I have no idea why it is 7 hours, because the time difference is 14 hours from East coast time zone)
This blog is about my observations from my time in Incheon. I am going to state from the beginning that I only intend for friends and family to read it, so when it does blow up I can act like it was a total shock that this blog just gained in audience out of know where. I think by writing the previous sentence, I just jinxed any chance of that happening.
PS: add or possibly subtract 7 hours from whenever it says I am making a post (I have no idea why it is 7 hours, because the time difference is 14 hours from East coast time zone)
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