Why a western would want to live abroad?

People do not typically leave for possible greener pastures if they are content with the greenness of their own pasture (a bit of an outdated expression). The usual answer for why someone would want to live abroad is also the cliché answer of wanting something new and exciting. Though what kind of people want "new and exciting"? In broad strokes the characteristics that are most dominant are laziness, boringness, being annoying, and uniqueness. While I can certainly show off all four of those characteristics, I would like to believe I would most fall under the category of being unique (how weird is it that I chose the one good characteristic when describing myself). Popular people don't typically crave green pastures when they are content with the adulation that comes from knowing they are already appreciated. So foreign countries don't usually get a taiste of America's prime rib but are left chewing through the more interesting parts of the cow.

I base the four broad characteristics, in part, on the fact that the dozen or so people I studied abroad with have as their top two strongest characteristics, one of the four mentioned (Jon you are probably the only one my ex-classmates reading this, so the two I would characterize you with are: laziness and uniqueness). Though as this is a blog about my time in Korea, I will specifically talk about three incidents that incited me to write this post.

The first was my one day training program for teaching English. The event was like Bible Camp, where there is like one old guy who is strumming real terribly on his acoustic guitar and singing obnoxiously about Noah and all his crazy adventures; you start to really question why God likes such horrible music. So, after the seminar teachers start clapping and singing, I start looking around the room to find only one other guy who has the same look of disgust that Beevis and Butthead have when they stumble upon something super lame. Everyone is so giddy and on board about participating in these sketches, that in no way teach anything about becoming a better teacher, but are apparently "fun exercises to remind you what it is like to be a kid". Even my super upbeat Korean coworker thought it was quite weird and a big waist of the schools money. Her disapproval made me feel better about my disapproval; because you start to feel like quite the cynic when you are the only one in Bible Camp not jamming out to the Christian Rock styling's of "Jars of Clay".

I don't mean to sound too negative, because I was an incredibly annoying kid (which led a little bit to my negativity). Though social Darwinism forced me to abandon many of my annoying tenancies for fear of further alienation. I do not understand how the same forces of cruel children did not eliminate these peoples annoying tenancies or at least phase them out a little.

Anyway, the second incident was where I went out drinking by myself and befriended this guy from London and this guy from Pittsburgh. While they were nice, they were also incredibly boring. We talked for hours and I was left with a since that these two 40 year old guys had no expertise on anything. They brought up Obama but new nothing about him or his policies and they honestly didn't know who his vice president was (they chalked that up to being in Korea when he picked it. For those who are asking "who is his vp?"...its Joe Biden); they didn't know the Super Bowl was coming up or that football was still going on despite bringing up the topic of football; they talked about how talented Fergi was and how the Black Eyed Peas were an example of how Pop music can also be really great; and the American asked the British guy why British people like the Queen so much and he couldn't answer...he could not fucken answer. They were caricatures of dull people.

The final time out was trivia night this past Thursday. I luckily got seated with one of the few enjoyable groups. They were sarcastic artsy types who were in a band (people I typically enjoy). There were six other teams and four of those teams had names that in some way related to the Penis. I think "the penis in lagers" were one of them and maybe "Penis envy" was another (real thoughtful and original stuff). One of the categories was "the human body" and literally every question was met with a ""joke"" that somehow had to do with some sort of sexual organ or turning an orifice in the body in to a hole to insert a sexual organ. One of the questions was "which hair on the human body grew the fastest?", and inevitably like a dozen people yelled out, as quickly as they could, pubic hair (the right answer is...facial hair). It was the type of humor about 2/3 of fifth graders think is beneath them. Anyway, not everyone there was annoying and lame. There was also some cool lazy stoner guys and cool unique musician types.


This post perhaps has a vibe of a cynic and there is really not all that much to complain about the other foreigners here. Most of them are easy going, unique, and lazy (at least in a traditional western since). I embellish the annoying and the boring for entertainments sake, because the boring are really boring if you don't embellish how boring they are.